"When you're in a relationship you should look to your partner for inspiration, support, encouragement. You shouldn't be looking to your mistress" I said.
"Jennie, I've never looked to YOU for any of that" He said.
"Well, then what the fuck are we doing?" I said.
In three short sentences, a small part of a very long conversation a year ago today, my 8 year marriage and 13 year relationship was over.
We had put in the work, we had been to solo counselling, couples counselling, we even did the Alpha Marriage Course. Ultimately after all that work and time we had discovered that we had a fundamental difference of opinion about what our idea marriage was. I wanted a safe and secure, monogamous partnership where we grew emotionally and matured together through mutual interests and activities. He wanted a polyamorous relationship where all members we independent and only pleasurable activities were done as a group.
One year ago today I realized that...Life is too long to be miserable for the rest of it. I am better off discovering who I am solo than staying in a relationship where I am made to feel that I'm not sufficiently equipped to provide a fulfilling relationship without outside "assistance".
I've had my year to re-group, to come to terms with my new life. I am now completely ready to take on the challenge of re-shaping my life to look the way my boys and I want it to look. This coming year will be an exciting and HAPPY year.