When I got married all those years ago I made the decision to hyphenate my name. I'm not sure if I should have taken that as a sign that all was not the fairytale that we all make our relationships out to be during our engagements. At the time I justified it with the fact that my generation in my family is made up exclusively of girls. EVERY single one of my siblings, cousins, and second cousins with my maiden name are girls. I am proud of my heritage, and my family, I couldn't bear the thought of the name ending with my generation. this was a decision that was never discussed with my husband-to-be(also a possible red flag), it was just something that was presented to him as the only option. I know he was a smidge upset. I know he was not happy to have to answer the constant "Why isn't she taking your name?" questions(Really? It was 2001, it shouldn't be that big a deal)
Now I find myself, 10 years later. I took my wedding ring off 19 months ago. I'm pulling all my stuff together to move forward on my divorce. And only last week realized that un-hyphenating my name will be part of that process. I still haven't really looked into what that will entail. I'm fairly certain that changing one's name after a divorce is far more challenging than changing it after a marriage. This is a process that will be worth it for me. I have already started in small ways. Yesterday I dropped the Ex's name from my facebook profile. I have stopped adding his name when I fill out forms for myself and for my boys.
Looks like it's an old name for a new start.