I know it isn't New Years yet, but hear me out. Last year I realized that to the people of the earth involved with school the beginning of the school year is the REAL New Year. This is the time of new beginnings for teachers, students, and parents. We've all had a long break, a break that throws our routines, schedules, and good/bad habits out of whack. Then along comes some arbitrary day, for most following Labor Day, and all of a sudden we need to find those routines and schedules again. I figure that while I'm at it, I might as well try and make some improvements along the way. That is why I have proclaimed the return of my kids to school as MY New Year.
I don't even remember what last year's "resolutions" were, I'm sure that I failed miserably as at this time last year I was full on miserable about the state of my marriage. I'm sure that just like I always do I resolved to be better at cleaning, lose weight, eat healthy, blah, blah, blah.
This year I need to do all of those normal resolutions that just about everyone seems to have, but this year I have some that are a bit more specific to me, or at least to my current situation.
#1. I resolve to have one day a week that is "YES Day". A day that as long as it isn't going to hurt anyone, and a couple things that need to get done happen I will say YES to my children and their requests of me and my time.
#2. I resolve to stay on top of the things I NEED to do. This is a relatively "common" resolution I know, but for me, this year, it will be an important one. For me it will mean proving to myself, and my Ex that I am capable of taking care of myself and my boys. In this category will be little things like staying on top of the housework, keeping up with bills, remembering the boys school "schedule", as well as bigger things like purging my house, and dealing with the lawyer right away. I'm realizing after putting it all into words, that ALL of that might be BIG things.
#3. I resolve to make sure that the people I Love feel Loved. I will make more effort to stay in touch with my family and friends. I will make more of an effort to remember and acknowledge birthdays. I will be as considerate and giving as I can be. My family in particular are very supportive and giving people, they deserve to know how much I appreciate them.
#4. I resolve to bring my expectations of my Ex down into line with the reality that I know. For some reason I have had this hope that my Ex would suddenly become "Super Dad" now that we are separated, and as such I have spent the past six months disappointed for my boys, and resentful. I now realize that it is wrong of me the expect him to be anything more than he always has been. I need to let that go so that I can be the MOTHER that my boys deserve.
#5. I resolve to enjoy life. I tend to be a thinker, researcher, and worrier. these things were all pretty good attributes when I was a teen with outgoing friends(I have always been a mother hen), but now as I get older I feel that it holds me back. I have never been impulsive, out going, or (most sadly) PASSIONATE. I will take some baby steps here, since spontaneity is a pretty big deal for me. I will make more effort to take advantage of opportunities that present themselves. I will also STOP thinking through the entire situation before deciding to go forward. I do not have a crystal ball, I cannot see how something will end, so why should I say no based on the outcome that my imagination created?
I'm confident that this "year" will bring many changes, many improvements. I hope that with this list to guide me I'll be one more step towards having it all "together". I am finally beginning to create a new life for myself and my boys, and I'm really excited to see where it takes us.
What are your New Years Resolutions?