When I separated a year ago it was scary. There were so many unknows. Was I going to be able to keep living in the house my kids were comfy in? Was I going to be able to afford the things we needed? Would my boys be happy? There was one thing that I wasn't concerned about though, loneliness.
I was excited about the prospect of having a quiet house to myself. I was glad to have some time off to explore my own interests. I thought I would spend my "off" weekends going out with friends. I was on twitter, I was meeting new people.
Now here I am, one year later. Lonely! Prepare for the whiny part. I have not spent an evening with friends in over 4 weeks. I have not spent an evening with friends not in my home since New Years Eve. I have not had a friend call me up and say, "Lets go out" in I have no idea how long(possibly not since before my separation). A very large number of my pre-separation friends we not even "available" for my birthday(not all of them, some I still love). On a side note, my twitter friends braved a long drive in a huge snowstorm for my birthday.
The reality of my social life right now is that I have 2 groups of friends. The first group are married. They hang out with other married couples. They go out with girlfriends during the week cause that's when they can have hubs look after the kids. They spend their weekends with their family, or going out as a couple(often with other couples). I don't hold any of it against them, I did the same thing. It just doesn't help my social life any.
The second group are single. Either they are completely single(no partner, no kids) and we don't have a huge amount in common. Or they are single parents, and somehow it appears EVERY single parent in Ottawa has the opposite visitation schedule from me.
I now know why single Moms jump back into the dating game so quickly. So, to all the people out there that worry because a friend is in your opinion "dating too soon", they are just lonely, invite them out for dinner.
p.s. this post was not written to make anyone feel guilty, I love all my friends. It just gets lonely being alone so much.